And so it begins

Just got back from CrossFit with Paul. We have made the commitment to get back into regular workouts. Happy New Year!

Take My Whole Life Too

Shall I stay/ Would it be a sin / If I cant help falling in love with you

Kate walked from the car to her door, not knowing what to do. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye, she wanted more. She wanted to say so but could not find the right words. She reached in her purse to find the key to the door and smiled as she thought of how she had spent the last six hours. It was innocent enough, but just to be there gave her butterflies and goose bumps. She could hear the car behind her, waiting until she was inside before leaving. She played a little game just to see how long she could prolong the car from leaving. She dropped her keys and slowly bent over to pick them up. That’s when she heard the car door open and close. Result! As she stood up she stayed facing the door. The light over the door was off and she was glad to have the cover of night to hide behind. She would not want what was written all over her face to be so easily visible.

“Are you ok?” he asked

“Sure, just dropped my keys. Thanks for driving me home and waiting for me to get in” she said.

“No problem. Here let me get the door.” He took the keys from her.

She was going to have to do something or the chance would be gone, the moment lost and there would not be another one for a long time. She stood there frozen as if she was watching a movie and she was in it. She willed herself to do something but what?

He started to key the lock when she reached out and touched his hand. As she did, the butterflies in her stomach started to fly all at once. She could feel the heat in her body rising. He turned his head, to look into her eyes.

“Kate?”

It was dark but she felt like there was a glow around them both. She could not find the words.

“Kate? Are you ok?” he asked again

“I’m … I’m just not ready to go in yet.”

“Kate, it’s late. I think you really should go in.”

He was trying to be strong. He was trying to let her know she did not have to do anything she did not want to do.

“Mr. Simon. David. I really don’t want to go in” she said as she moved closer to him.

He took a step back.

“Kate, I think that is close enough. And I think you should really get inside.”

She let her purse fall to the ground and let the strap of her top fall off her shoulder as it did. She knew that she was beautiful; she had seen him look at her the way other men did when she was at the beach with them last week. She was not so young.

He took another step back and was now pressed against the porch wall. He was a big man, she liked big men.

“Kate. I really can’t”

It was dark but she could still see he was reacting to her.

“Kate, you are a beautiful girl but I am not what you want. You’re my babysitter and I’m old enough to be …”

She cut him off and finished his sentence “My lover” She pushed up onto her toes, reached up and held his face with both hands, pressed herself against him and kissed him.

The butterflies exploded.

Only for a second did she think that the whole ‘my lover’ thing sounded too corny but she could feel him giving into her. His hands stop pushing her hips and started to pull her against him.

She was lost, she had found the line and leaped over it. She had been thinking about this for months. She knew it had been over a year since his wife died and that he was still damaged. She knew that the kids were his world and she knew that she was not what he was looking for. But she also knew that she was old enough to know what she wanted. She knew that despite their age difference he made her laugh until her sides hurt. And she knew she had been falling in love with him for the past 3 months.

She opened her eyes and looked into his eyes. She saw it and knew.

She let him go and took a step back.

“David, it’s ok. I know what I am doing.”

“I don’t” he said, now leaning against the wall willingly. “I had no idea you felt this way. And I think you’re great, I really do. I have to admit I have thought if you were just six or seven years older….”

“What’s six years David? There are woman my age in the army, dying over in Iraq. There are woman my age having babies for American families in India. What is so wrong with you being with me?”

“Kate, you are only 20 years old. I am 35 for Christ’s sake. You live at home and I am closer to your Mother’s age than I am to yours.”

“All of that is bullshit and you know it.”

She moved a little closer. Whispering she said “Everyone has secrets, David. Couldn’t you be my secret?” A little closer, almost touching, still whispering “I know you I can make you happy. I can be there when you need me.”

She looked up to see him close his eyes, let out a heavy sigh and run his tongue across his bottom lip the way his did when he was making a decision. She could smell the body wash he used and she wanted to go back to his, right now.

She reached up to kiss him again, his hands reached out to her hips not pushing or pulling, trying to decide ….

Suddenly the porch light came on and the door flew open spilling a flood of light onto his face and she saw his eyes go wide and his eye brows rise in surprise.

She spun around.

“Daddy?!!”

Part 2 is here

Hello, I Love You

The cars drive past my house in a fury that has not been seen around here since Jimmy Halbrook clocked his old man with a Joe Pepitone for beating up his mother. The cars flew up the road that day, too bad for Jimmy they were cop cars. Today they are all driving up to see the new dream home, a chance at winning a new house, a new car, a new life. And fuck it, who doesn’t dream of a new life every now and again. The dream home is just the thing to get people excited. Pay 20 bucks and you could win. Someone has to win, don’t they. The lotto people have breathed the mantra in our lives, ‘you can’t win if you don’t play’. And it sure seems like a lot of people want to play today.

Sitting on my front steps, I wave to some of the cars passing by. Some know what they want, they drive straight up, get their tickets and drive straight back to where they came. Others are in it for the experience, they want to savor the moment, have a story to tell. They slowly drive up the road, looking at the all houses along the way. Try to imagine what it would be like to live around here. They see me sitting on my steps with music jumpin from my boombox, a beer in my hand and they wave nervously. I can almost hear them, saying a little prayer that my house is not next door to the dream home. Judging a book by it’s cover. Well right back at ya, cause that’s what I am doing with each car that passes by.

We are all going to our own version of hell for these little sins we commit everyday, just some will be there longer than others.

Ms. Kingsley Regrets

Prequel is here

coming up next on BBC One, will Ken Barlow finally leave the street for the great cobbles in the sky

The bloody phone is ringing and I sit there staring at it. Fucking telemarketers calling during my tea. There is a special place in hell for that lot. I reach out on the 10th ring.

“ello” I say impatiently

“Mr. Stringer?” a woman’s voice says

“I’m not interested, now please do not call here again” I start to hang up the phone

“I’m not selling you owt Mr. Stringer, it’s PC Dunham calling sir.” her voice is strong

I think to myself, what the hell did I do to get a call from the old bill. I know that Degs doesn’t have the bottle to have me dragged in and I have been out of the game for months, any disgruntled husbands have cooled off by now.

“What is it?” I asked without really caring what the answer is

“Sir, I have some news about a Ms. Kingsley, Ms. Rebecca Kingsley” she replies.

I can hear her shuffling papers about, the clammer of the station in the background. I am thinking … Ms. Kingsley, who the fuck is Ms. Kingsley? I haven’t the foggiest.

“Don’t know her, who ever she is. Must have the wrong number, love” I say wanting to get back to my tea.

“Sir, she is your daughter” PC Dumham states

Her words travel from the phone at the station, speed through the phone lines, under the streets, wind through the transfer stations onto my pocksy backstreet, finds my house blast through my handset and smack me round the head.

“Daughter? Must be a mistake. I ain’t got no daughter” I manage, stunned like.

“Sir, she has you listed on her emergency contact list. We found it on her person. You are Nick Stringer of 23 Battersea Rise?” she asks knowing the answer

“yea” is all I can manage

“Sir, the circumstances under which we found Ms. Kingsley make it very clear to us that you are the person we need to be speaking with right now. Can you come down to the station?”

Circumstances. Found. Clear. It’s bloody anything but clear. I forget that for the moment Ken Barlow is hanging on by a thread on the telly and that my tea is getting cold. I forget about the fact that I have a number of unpaid parking tickets, that I have been acting very badly up to 5 months ago and that I know exactly where the line is and not to cross it.

“What the hell for? I don’t have a daughter, no matter what she’s got written on her person“

“Sir, I understand this is a bit of a shock and that there is a possibility that until 5 minutes ago, you did not even know about Ms. Kingsley. But I have to strongly recommend, that you come down to the station and talk with us. Please sir, it would be for the best.”

I put down my fork and switch off the telly. My head starts to pound. There is silence on the line, but I can hear the background noise, someone is yelling they didn’t do it. Yeah, me too.

“Sir?”

“Yeah, ok. I’ll be there in 20 mins. Do I ask for you?”

“Well, you can. But you might want to ask for the detective in charge of the case”

“Who’s that then?”

“Inspector Knight, Inspector Vernon Knight”

My world fades to black, light comes in with each passing heart beat. It’s as if someone is opening and closing the shutters … thump, thump … light, dark … thump, thump … dark, light.

“Inspector? … Inspector Knight? … Inspector Vernon Knight, is it?”

“Yes sir, do you know him? … Sir? … Are you still there?”

“Too right I know him. I’ll be there in 10 minutes”

Fun with Caulk

Home & Garden TV

Comment left

This is part of a comment I left here (a review on the season finale of Dexter)

I think the appeal of Dexter is that it shows us what we all feel. Not that we all want to be serial killers but that we all hold secrets, we all hide behind masks and we are all afraid of being discovered. You could feel his relief when he decided to let his secret out – no matter who it would destroy, he was still relieved. Holding onto to these secrets are heavy burdens we all bear, his relief was felt by us all. Dexter shows us ourselves and we love to watch.

oh.my.god.

In A Boy’s Dream

There is a new mix up in the iListen section of my site … click here.

01. Vonda Shepard: Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright
For me the best thing about Ally McBeal (besides ‘Bygones’ which I still use today) was Vonda Shepard. I am not sure how many times she had to sleep with David Kelly to get her music on the show, but damn it must have been worth it. Each week she would do a cover of a famous song, and this Dylan cover is one of my favorites.

02. Billy Bragg – Levi Stubbs’ Tears
Best Billy Bragg song ever. Memories of alternative 80s music for sure, but listen don’t tell me you weren’t taken in by this one. The opening is magic and the heavy electric guitar strum is brilliant.

03. David Usher – Black, Black Heart
Always liked this one, just the right atmosphere and use of operatic backdrops. This is just about the only David Usher song that I give the time of day to … it pure rocks. Interestingly, this song features Kim Bingham on guitar (of Me Mom and Morgentaler fame – one of the best shows I saw in the early 90s!)

04. Stevie Wonder – Superstition
Who doesn’t like a little Stevie every now and again … to quote Eddie, “hey man, Stevie Wonder is a music genius motherfaucker!”

05. Sting – Straight To My Heart
This is one of those Sting songs that I just love … it comes from a time when driving around in my car with the stereo blasting was a past time, not so different than now – only I tend to crank it up on my way to work!

06. Sarah McLachlan – River
Released in 2006, this is a great Winter/Christmas song … the line that gets me is: “Oh, I wish I had a river,
I could skate away on.” Who doesn’t feel like that every now and again!

07. Jim Croce – Operator (That’s Not The Way It Feels)
The ultimate heart ache song … a classic from the 70s. It just felt right to put this one here. It’s not like I have a huge Jim Croce collection (although maybe I should) and thought this was the best of the rest but I felt this song trying to get placed here …. and I think it works.

08. Stephen Bishop – On and On
I just love the layed back relaxed feel of this one. And it fit real nice with Jim Croce. Some great imagery as well … “takes a ladder/steals stars from the sky”. How can you not close your eyes and imagine a sandy beach, a cold Corona, and the chance to forget your worries.

09. Tracy Chapman – Baby Can I Hold You
This is a great song, not just because it was playing the first time I … you know … did it! We had this small transistor radio on the window ledge of the cabin to get good reception – some things you don’t forget. But besides all that, it has that old time feel to it. I have never been able to do it justice on acoustic guitar but I keep trying!

10. Meat Loaf – You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth
Bat Out of Hell was the second album I ever bought (Trooper Hot Shots was the first) and I listened to it endlessly. I remember I was only about 10 or 11 and loved this song, but my Mother always complained about the intro. I had no idea why she was so upset by it … but now I just love it when he says “I bet you say that to all the boys”. Rock on with your bad self Meat … or is that Mr. Loaf?

11. Simon and Garfunkel – Kathy’s Song
My friend Neil Simmons does a killer version of this song and it made me seek out the original. I grew up with Dad listening to Simon and Garfunkel (mostly the greatest hits) and spend a fair part of a road trip listening to Live In Central Park. This is one of their hidden gems for me.

12. Pearl Jam – Better Man
Picture it, it was St. John’s 2002/2003 and Pearl Jam was coming to play at the Stadium. I remember liking 10 but that was about it. People I worked with scrambled to get tickets while I was just as happy to take a pass. The day of the first concert a friend offered me a ticket (we had fabulous seats) and I was blown away. The next day, Maria’s employer offered us tickets to go down to the company booth to see the show. Off again I went, it was just as good the second night!

13. Dave Matthews – Crash Into Me
Dave Matthews kind of crept up and slapped me around the head. I was not a huge fan until a friend gave me a copy of Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds Live at Luther College .. blew my mind! I listened to that sucker over and over for about 3 months! I HIGHLY recommend this double live CD to anyone who likes music.

14. Green Day – Give Me Novocaine
I am not sure what made me buy the American Idiot cd last Christmas, but I did and it was the one with the DVD included. I can tell you, if these guys manage not to OD, they will be around for a long long time. They make me want to get up on a speaker and rock out with my electric guitar!

15. Iron and Wine – Love and Some Verses
I went through a phase where I would listen/watch the shows from KCRW. I was trolling through the archives when I found some videos of Iron and Wine. Sam Beam just sounds so relaxed and at peace I thought I want some of that. I even traveled to Philadelphia for one night, just to see him play. Outstanding! For sure there is some Iron and Wine in almost every mix I make – accept it!

16. Broke Back Mountain Soundtrack – Broke Back Mountain Theme
I liked the movie – get over it. The soundtrack is great (ok so I have a thing for movie soundtracks) and thought the theme would make a great addition here. I would almost describe it as haunting.

17. Jeff Buckley – Hallelujah
It was the summer of 2005 and kd lang released a version of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. The first time I heard it I was driving across town and had to pull over because I was blown away! Jeff Buckley’s version is so fine I had to include it here. Dying well before his time … this is just a small sample of how fecking talented he was!

This the season

Christmas is almost here and for most of us that means family and friends. But not everyone is so lucky, so if you know someone who is on their own this Christmas, ask them to share some time with you and your family. It might mean more than you think!

A little off the side please …

So it’s Friday, the day after the night before – I was out dancing at a Christmas party and I have to say, without my drinking goggles on, people look pretty foolish out on that dance floor. To quote a rather famous movie – sometimes you gotta say what the fuck …. what the fuck gives you freedom. And let me tell you, I saw a lot of people saying what the fuck last night. Who knew you could go from dee-ter-dee dance music to a traditional Irish jig and still have people dancing. In one of my ‘rest periods’ – I was talking with a woman I worked with briefly, and it went something like this:

Her: So I am going to Fogo for New Years, I was there two years ago and had the best time!
Me: Get out! I am from Fogo ...
Her: Shut up, are you really?
Me: Not really, see I not only am I a townie, I'm a ....
Her: Cunt!
Me: ..... (speechless) ....
Her: *laughs uncontrollably*
Me: ..... (speechless) ....
Her: * still laughing *
Me: well I was going to say I am from the East end of town, but god damn!